On the Edge of Fear Page 4

  Her eyes widened. “You mean you guys do—” she waved her hand around “—this stuff at home?”

  “Well, sort of. Mom and Dad don’t play around my brother and me. But except for a child-safe zone, there’s a huge amount of forest to have fun in.” For a brief moment, he imagined walking with her through those trees while she wore that fabulous chainmail dress. Or possibly fucking her from behind with it pushed up around her waist. “I love it here because we can be open about who we are, what we like, and be surrounded by people who have the same basic ideals.” She frowned and he wanted to kick himself.

  “Not like that bastard. We believe in consensual. You know how Queen Alice mentioned the Discipline Master? Craig is heavily into whips and pain. He only plays with subs who enjoy receiving that. At the Faire, he’s in charge of discipline and if someone fucks up like that guy? He’ll give them a huge punishment they won’t soon forget.”

  She blinked and her mouth dropped open.

  Shit. He was screwing this up. “Not everyone’s into pain,” he said, rushing on. “Some like bondage or are into discipline. Then there’s the whole domination and submission aspect.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he wanted to take them back. Too much information. He was freaking her out.

  “What are you into?” she asked softly, pulling a piece of pork from her sandwich and popping it into her mouth. For a moment he was mesmerized by the way her sweet little lips moved as she chewed.

  “I’m still learning,” he said. “I enjoy spanking and bondage. Father Mark’s teaching me shibari, which is Japanese rope bondage. It’s intricate and there’s a lot to learn.” He grinned. “There’s a lot to learn in all of it. Kendrick made me study physiology before he let me start spanking.”

  “Really?” She blinked. “Why?”

  “There are places you shouldn’t hit. Like the tailbone and over the kidneys. There are also places that have the most impact. There are two different types of spanking, erotic and discipline, and it takes a while to figure out the force needed to pull them both off.” A little heat entered his cheeks. “I haven’t figured that out yet.” Mainly because he hadn’t had a sub to practice the erotic stuff with.

  “Oh.” She took another bite and chewed it slowly as if she had a lot on her mind.

  “So you didn’t know it was a Kink Faire before you arrived. Ignoring the horrible guy that took liberties, how do you feel about it?” It took a second before Ryan realized he was holding his breath. He liked Lexi, but liking her too much was stupid. She wasn’t from the area and would probably not be interested in learning more about kink after her experience. Slowly he let his breath out.

  She took so long to answer that he was afraid she wouldn’t. Finally, she put her sandwich down and cleaned her fingers off by sucking each one into her mouth. There was no way not to react to that as he imagined her sucking on his dick. His already hard cock stiffened further and he managed not to wince at the discomfort.

  “I’m not sure,” she finally said. “Some of it was intriguing and some of it scary. A lot of it scary, actually. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the idea that people actually do this.”

  He kept the smile on his face, but his stomach dropped. Well that was disappointing.

  She looked directly into his eyes and the molten chocolate of her gaze kept him riveted. “Why do you do it?” she asked.

  A huff of a laugh escaped his throat. “How much time do you have?”

  She smiled.

  “Well, my parents have been into BDSM for a long time. My brother and I didn’t know about that, but we knew they were in a strong DD relationship. That’s where they set the rules and Mom follows them or she receives some sort of discipline. They’re happier than any of my friends’ folks and I started to wonder if that was why. I did some research a couple years ago and DD took me to D/s, which took me to BDSM. It connected with me in here.” He patted his chest. “Told Dad I wanted to find out about it. He put me in contact with the head of the club he and Mom went to and after about my third time going, I knew it was right. But it wasn’t until I got here and was mentored by Kendrick that I really started to learn.”

  She swallowed a bite, her eyes wide. “You do this stuff with your folks around?”

  “No,” he said quickly, horrified at the very thought. “That’s one of our rules. We always make sure we’re far apart. If they’re going to scene, I don’t go to that particular dungeon on that day. That would be gross.”

  Lexi snorted and then started to giggle. “Your face,” she finally said, her giggles increasing.

  He grinned as heat flooded into his cheeks. “Well, BDSM includes everything from spanking to control to whipping to sex. There’s no fucking way I ever want to see or hear my parents doing it. I’ll never be that adult.”

  She burst out laughing, the husky notes bouncing around the tavern. Neil glanced over and smiled before turning back to a customer he’d been talking to.

  Her laughter was wonderful. Ryan wanted to hear it more.

  Chapter Seven

  Alexis was having a good time. It was difficult to believe, but being around Ryan made her feel young again, as though she was just a carefree nineteen-year-old. Instead of the homeless thief she was. That thought brought her up short and she took another drink of root beer to quell the nerves in her stomach.

  Dinner had been nice and she felt fuller than she had in a long time. Ryan had to get back to work and he walked her toward the dock. “Are you sure you want to leave?” he asked. “You could take the ten o’clock ferry. Then you wouldn’t be on board with butt face.”

  She laughed at his nickname for the guy who attacked her. And then sobered. “Do you think he’d attack me on the boat?” That thought hadn’t occurred to her.

  “I’d hope not. He’s probably sobered up by now. If you stay, I can show you around. The dinner run will only take an hour and then I can be your tour guide for the rest of the night. What do you say?” He turned eager eyes toward her and for a brief moment, she almost said yes.

  Then she spotted Gray Eyes striding down the fairway. He wasn’t looking their way, but the scowl on the man’s face sent her heart down into her stomach. She took a step behind Ryan. He glanced around, probably trying to figure out what to protect her from.

  Wow. That was so endearing. He was kind of her knight in, well, kinky armor.

  “Do you know him?” she whispered as Gray Eyes entered one of the shops.

  “Craig? Yeah. He’s the Discipline Master.” Ryan chuckled. “You can see why nobody would want to mess with him. He’s got all the subs and half the doms shaking in their boots whenever he appears. Talk about a job tailor made.”

  He turned and held out his hand. All thoughts of Craig, the gray-eyed Discipline Master fled as she put her palm against his and he held it tight. His hand was bigger than hers and warm. Alexis wished she was meeting him as a good girl, rather than the person she was. The dream was wonderful, but midnight was coming soon. Alexis was no Cinderella and there was no prince waiting to sweep her off her feet.

  Just one that wants to spank your tush. She almost giggled as the phrase went through her head. Her grandmother’s mouth would have been twisted up in that “What are you thinking, girl” expression.

  “It’s really nice here,” she said as they walked down the fairway. She noted that they were both walking slowly. People passed them like they were standing still. The blow of the ferry, announcing it was making its way toward the island, shattered the tiny bit of peace that surrounded them.

  “We’d better hurry,” Ryan said in a resigned voice as he sped up.

  They reached the dock just as the ferry finished its procedures and powered down. Attacker dude was a lot more subdued as he stood between two of the security guards. When she saw a man in some sort of police uniform exit the ferry and walk over to him, she felt a sense of relief. If there was a cop on board, surely he’d keep the guy from doing anything.

  “I guess y
ou should board,” Ryan said, though he sounded as excited about it as she felt.

  “Yeah.” She took a step forward and disentangled her fingers from his. “I had fun, Ryan. Thanks.” She had enough money for a couple weeks of motel rooms and food and the time she’d spent with Ryan would feed her dreams for weeks.

  “Don’t suppose you’re coming back?” he asked hopefully.

  “Can’t afford it. A hundred and twenty bucks is steep.” Not that she’d paid that. She’d been in the right place at the right time when a guy bought several tickets and when he walked away, dropped one. Alexis had run to pick up the ticket and give it to him. Until she saw it was for a fair.

  “Yeah. Well…” His eyebrows furrowed and then he gave her a hope-filled smile that made her heart melt. “I don’t know if you’re sticking around the area, but I could come to the peninsula on Monday or Tuesday. And, you know, if you were around we could get lunch or something. What do you think?”

  She thought he was absolutely adorable and before she could let logic step in, she said, “I’d like that.”

  “Awesome. I’ll text you so we can make plans,” he said.

  “Anyone else?” shouted a man on the ferry.

  Drat. “I am,” she called and hopped on board. He closed and locked the gate behind her.

  Ryan raised a hand and then jogged back toward the Faire. She let out a long, shuddering breath. As much as she would love to see him again, she wouldn’t. She would block his number when he texted. And that would be that.

  She was still telling herself that on Monday morning as she stood by the docks waiting for him to arrive. Today would be it. They’d have lunch, he’d leave, and she’d get on with her life such as it was.

  The sound of a speed boat coming up caught her attention and she glanced toward it. She saw the reddish-brown hair and excitement rushed through her veins. Ryan. Only it turned out to be an older version of Ryan. A man in his early forties hopped off the boat and tied it up. She almost turned away until she saw Ryan hop out. Wait. Two Ryans? Two young men grinned at one another and it was like they were mirror images of each other.

  They were both wearing sleeveless tees that showed off nice sets of muscles. One of them had half a tattoo on his right shoulder and the other one had what looked like the other half on his left. An eagle’s head. Which one was Ryan?

  She’d no more thought it than the one with the tat on his left shoulder looked up and caught her gaze. His smile stretched. “Lexi,” he called and broke into a jog toward her. Hearing his voice made her heart flutter.

  I’m turning into such a girl.

  He jogged up and instead of stopping a foot away, he hugged her and pulled her close, his warmth flowing through her. Oh, she’d forgotten over the weekend how good he smelled. Cinnamon, musk, and man.

  “So this is the girl you’ve been talking about all weekend.” A deeper version of Ryan’s voice reached her ears and she flushed as Ryan turned, keeping an arm around her shoulders. The older version of Ryan smiled at her warmly and stuck out his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Lexi. I’m David, Ryan’s father, and this is his twin, Luke. Don’t worry. We’re not here to spoil the fun. We have to make a run to Seattle.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” she said and realized she meant it. Ryan was nice and so was his father. Luke watched her, amused blue eyes twinkling in the sunlight.

  “Have fun, you two,” David said. “Ry, we’ll be back by six. Meet us here.”

  “Will do, Dad.”

  The two of them walked away and Ryan slid his arm off her shoulders and took her hand. “So, shall we head to Port Angeles?”

  Being with Ryan carried with it a safety she almost didn’t comprehend. It reminded her of when she was a little girl and thought nothing could go wrong. Only it could. She’d seen it go wrong far too many times.

  So it was hard to concentrate on how good he made her feel when all she kept thinking was I’ll never see him after this.

  They walked by the waterfront in Port Angeles. He’d treated her to a big lunch and a milkshake and she’d learned all about his life growing up, his fondness for spicy food, and the fact he missed his dog, Scooter, who died three years ago. He learned almost nothing about her. It wasn’t like she could tell him the truth.

  “Lexi?” His voice broke through her thoughts and she turned toward him. He was gazing at her thoughtfully. “Am I wasting my time?” he asked quietly. “I like you, but I don’t have any idea how you feel about me.”

  Her eyes stung and she blinked back tears. She, Alexis Amari, did not cry. It was against her code. Babies cried, not girls who had to do anything to stay alive. “I do like you,” she admitted. “But we can’t go anywhere, so why prolong this?” She started to turn away. There were people aplenty in the area. Surely she could pick a pocket or two.

  “Why can’t we?” His question brought her up short and she turned back to him. “I know you travel a lot and I’ve never done a long-distance relationship. I’ve never done any kind of relationship, really. But I know people do them. We both have phones and whenever you were close I could come pick you up so you didn’t have to pay for a ferry ride. Or we could see each other here. Come on, Lexi. Take a chance.” He smiled and her stomach fluttered. That smile should be illegal. It would cheat old grannies out of their life savings. It was a good thing he wasn’t into that.

  She opened her mouth to create a lie, but instead the truth fell out. “I’m not the kind of girl you think I am.”

  “What kind of girl do I think you are?” he asked.

  “Nice. Cute. Honest. Good.” She almost choked on that final word. “I’m a bad girl, Ryan. I have to be to survive.”

  He leaned forward slightly. It was obvious from his expression that he was trying to figure her out. “Maybe I like bad girls.”

  No matter his spanking proclivities, the thought of her handsome prince liking bad girls made her snort. “Ryan, you’re so good, you practically glow. There’s no way you want a slut as your girlfriend.” Using the term almost made her wince, but she kept her face placid. She didn’t like turning tricks, but sometimes that was the only way to stay alive.

  He bit his lip and looked into her eyes. “What do you mean by slut? Come on, Lex, I’m trying to understand. In my lifestyle, slut can be a compliment. But I have the feeling it’s not in your world.”

  His taking the nickname she’d given him and making it all his own almost made her break down. Nobody had ever given her a nickname before except for ones she chose.

  It was obvious he wasn’t going to let go until he knew the truth. “I turn tricks, Ryan. I’m a… a prostitute.”

  His tanned cheeks turned a little pink and he sat back on his heels. “Is it something you enjoy?”

  Enjoy? Fury flooded through her. “No, Ryan. I don’t enjoy it. I hate it. But I’ve been on my own for five years and I do what I have to, to survive. Got it?”

  Alexis expected him to be shocked. She expected him to walk away. She did not expect him to pull her into another one of those warm hugs and hold her tight.

  “You’ve been on your own since you were fourteen?” he asked, sounding horrified.

  “Yeah.”

  He held her tighter. “No wonder. So, uh, do you work for someone?”

  “Do I have a pimp? No.” She shook her head. Why wasn’t he upset about this? “I only do it when I have no other way to bring in funds.”

  “So if you had a job, then you wouldn’t have to do that,” he said slowly.

  “People won’t hire people with fake IDs.” Well, they did. But the moment someone reported her social security number as fake, she was out. “I do what I have to, Ryan.” Lord how she didn’t want him to think badly of her. But how could he not?

  He rubbed her back. “You can’t get a real ID?”

  “They want a birth certificate which I don’t have and it’s from Italy anyway.”

  “What happened to your folks?” he asked quietly, still holding her tight
.

  “Mom died a year after we moved to the States. Dad remarried and threw me out.” She shrugged as she didn’t want to think about it. “I’ve been on my own ever since.” She had been alone for so long it had become normal.

  “What if…? What if I could find you a job for the summer?” he asked. “I can’t guarantee it’s possible. But if I could find you a job and a place to live, would that help?”

  “I’d have to go back to this come fall. I don’t see the difference.”

  “Of course there’s a difference,” he said and pulled back. His expression was firm and she felt like she was seeing another side of him. It was filled with strength and power, as if he could accomplish anything. She liked this side just as much as the other one. “Over those three months we can figure out how to get you a real ID. Do you have a high school diploma?”

  She shook her head.

  “Maybe we could help you get your GED or something. There’s got to be a way, Lex. Think about it. A life without turning tricks. A home over your head. Income. And me,” he added with a cheeky smile. “Even if dating didn’t work out, I’d still be your friend.”

  He was delusional, but she had to admit it was a pretty picture. No stealing. No selling herself. And seeing Ryan more. “I don’t see how that would work.” Even with the words out of her mouth, she was weakening. It was such a wonderful image.

  “Are you willing to try?” he asked in excitement as though helping her was his mission in life.

  “Once,” she said in a guarded tone. “If it doesn’t work, I’m going to move on.” Because she couldn’t turn tricks in a town where he might pop up.

  “Let’s try, Lexi.”

  “It’s Alexis,” she whispered, giving up a tiny part of herself. “My real name’s Alexis.”

  Warmth filled his beautiful blue eyes as he pulled out his phone. “Kendrick? It’s Ryan. I’ve got a quandary I’m hoping you can help me with.”