On the Edge of Fear Read online

  “All girls are alike,” Luke grunted.

  “Shut up. They are not.”

  With a grin, his brother shrugged. “If you say so. What’s she gonna do while you’re off at the Faire?”

  “Kendrick gave her a job so she’ll be working here and at the Faire.”

  “Oh. So she’s, uh, kinky too, huh?” The distaste in Luke’s tone made Ryan shake his head.

  “We don’t know yet. She’s willing to work here, though. So I’m hoping.”

  “Well, bring her by sometime. Mom wants to meet her.” Luke gave him an evil grin. “She’s thrilled one of her boys has a girlfriend.”

  “Oh God.” Ryan groaned. “She’s going to embarrass me.”

  “Yep. I think she even knows where the naked baby pics are.”

  “Fucker,” Ryan said and smacked Luke’s shoulder. His brother snickered. “See you later, Luke.”

  “Later,” Luke said with a yawn and settled back down to sleep.

  He didn’t put on his shoes until he was outside. Both of his parents were light sleepers and while his dad would have let him be, his mother would have got up and asked him about Alexis. She would have insisted he talk to her over breakfast and by the time he could escape, Alexis would be at her doctor’s appointment.

  Early June was a beautiful time on Elan Isle. It was cool at night and warm during the day. And if it felt too warm in the sun, all he had to do was enter the woods and it dropped ten degrees.

  They lived in a cabin in the adult area that was within a mile of the child-safe zone, mainly so that Luke could have somewhere to go, outside, where he wouldn’t be subject to someone scening in the woods. Now that it was summer, that was definitely a possibility.

  He wished he knew if Kendrick or Alec were up yet. He needed to talk to a strong Dom about some of the questions he had. Ryan wanted to be a good Dom and still wasn’t sure exactly how to do that. He had plenty of good examples on the island: Kendrick, Alec, his own father, Neil, and Alice just to name a few.

  The crazy thing was that before he met Alexis, he felt he had all the time in the world. But if she liked him as much as he liked her, he hoped they’d be able to start a D/s relationship. He had no idea how to do that or how to be the Dom in a relationship. It bugged him.

  Grunts came from his left and he turned and spotted Craig fucking a sub he didn’t know near a tree. Ryan paused and watched. Her arms were tied way above her head to a thick branch and there were long red welts up and down her back and along her buttocks. Craig was known for his whip work. He held her up by her ass and was fucking up into her, his grunts and hers mixing in the early morning cool air. Well, they probably didn’t feel the coolness with all the effort they were putting into the scene.

  Since Ryan had turned eighteen, he’d scened a bit. But he was nowhere near an expert on anything. Over the summer, he hoped to get a lot better at spanking and with Mark teaching him shibari, he hoped to have a handle on that within a year. But how could he be a good Dom for Alexis, or anyone for that matter? He was a fucking baby Dom.

  The sub let out a loud squeal, her legs flailing as she came. Craig stilled with a loud grunt before he pulled out. He glanced up as he put his dick back into his pants. “Morning, Ryan.”

  “Morning. Sorry. I don’t want to interrupt.”

  “You’re not. We’re through. Christine specifically stated she didn’t want aftercare. Have you two met?”

  Of course Ryan had heard of some subs eschewing aftercare, but one of Kendrick’s maxims was “Never leave a sub after a scene until after you have assured she or he are back to themselves. Even if they tell you they don’t want it, you need to.”

  Craig removed the chains hooking her cuffs to the branch and she settled back onto her feet. She turned blue eyes on him and smiled. Her bleach-blonde hair was matted to her head with sweat. “Morning.”

  “Chrissie, this is Ryan. He’s a Dom. Ryan, this is Christine, Conrad and Amanda Peters’s daughter. She’s your age. She’s a masochist and a bottom. Not a sub.”

  These kinds of interactions were easier to deal with. In BDSM, things felt more honest.

  He held a hand out. “Nice to meet you.”

  “You too. Are you a sadist?” she asked.

  Craig pointed a finger at the tree. “Palms there while I check out your welts.”

  Christine rolled her eyes which made Craig grin. He slammed his hand down hard on her marked ass. She cried out and moaned before putting her palms on the rough bark.

  “I’m not sure what I classify as,” Ryan admitted as he watched Craig check every welt for breakage. A lot of people were scared of Craig. While he came across as a total ass at times, Ryan had never seen him remiss in his duties to whomever he played with. He was also stalwart in defense of his friends. He might be a curmudgeon, but there was a good side to him he rarely let others see. “I’m learning.” Just learning. How long would it take him to go from just learning to being a knowledgeable Dom?

  “So am I,” she said with a hiss when Craig opened up an antiseptic wipe and drew it along a nasty looking welt. “I went to a BDSM club near school this year. The whole Dom/sub thing does nothing for me, but I found I really enjoy pain.”

  “She does,” Craig said with a nod. “And there’s nothing wrong with that.” He patted her ass. “I enjoy dispensing it. All right. You’re done. But listen to me now.” He turned her around so she faced him and tipped her face up so she met his eyes. “You won’t play like that until the welts have almost disappeared. You can do other stuff, but nothing that exacerbates what I did to you this morning. Got it?”

  “But—”

  “Got it?” Craig’s voice hardened and he got that look in his eyes that made most subs and half the Doms quake in their boots. Ryan could understand how he could send anyone running at the idea of being disciplined by him. He would have.

  She gulped. “Okay.”

  “Good girl. Now go home and don’t shower for at least an hour. Once you shower, get your mom to put on the antiseptic. Or, come over to my cabin and I’ll do it.”

  Her eyes lit up and she nodded before pulling a loose summer dress over her head and slipping her feet into a pair of boots. Once she was gone, Craig turned to Ryan.

  “Heard you got a girl,” he said in his gravelly voice.

  “Sort of.”

  “Sort of?” Craig cocked a brow. “You got her a job here. Says to me you like her.”

  “I do. But I don’t know if she feels the same way.”

  Craig sighed and shook his head. “Kendrick would flay me for saying this, but take my advice, Ryan. Subs and bottoms are a dime a dozen. You’re young. Try them all. Don’t settle down with one until you’ve tasted all there is to taste.” He packed up the last of his equipment and slung the bag over his shoulder. “Of course, sometimes young relationships work. Alice and Joseph did. But that’s the exception rather than the rule. Besides, BDSM is about testing your boundaries. Test them all out. What if you think you’re mostly into bondage now and get with a sub who likes bondage, only to find out in five years that you’re a sadist and need to dispense pain?” Craig shook his head. “Don’t lock yourself down.”

  Ryan wasn’t sure how to respond and Craig seemed done with his thought as he strode away toward his cabin.

  Letting out a long breath, Ryan turned back toward the main part of the township. Was he being silly for wanting to date Alexis? Perhaps Craig was right and he shouldn’t tie himself down to any one sub, not while he was learning.

  With a frown, he continued toward Alexis’s cabin. Couldn’t two people grow together? Alice and Joseph did, Ryan’s parents did. Besides, everyone said Craig was a bit jaded when it came to relationships. Perhaps he wouldn’t make any decisions for a while. He still had so much to learn.

  “Such a fucking baby Dom,” he muttered under his breath.

  Chapter Eleven

  “You look healthy enough,” Dr. Myles said as he finished her exam and stood up. Alexis grimace
d as he put the foot rests down and she could finally cover herself. “I’ll send the cultures and your blood test in. It’ll take a couple weeks to get all the results back. Until then, you aren’t allowed to play. And when you do play, I highly suggest the use of a condom.”

  “I try to use them,” she said as she sat up and pulled on her clothes. “Doesn’t everyone else?”

  “There are a lot of people who hate condoms,” he said. As he wasn’t looking at her, she watched him as he made notes on a chart. “I’ll admit to being one. But I’d rather wear a condom than get a disease. Besides, this is also about every single one of my partners. I believe highly in respecting them, even if I’m disrespecting them in a scene. So I’m not going to introduce an STD when they’re willing to share their body with me.”

  That made sense. She wished her johns had felt the same. She’d had to force several of them to wear them for a fuck. Oral was something else entirely. They refused to wear a condom for a blow job. “What kind of, uh, STDs can one get from a blow job?”

  Myles looked over his shoulder and smiled. “Well, as much as people want to tell you that you can’t get one from oral sex, the fact is you can.” He went through the list of what could be passed orally. “My suggestion if you don’t want to suck on a condom is to make sure and don’t brush your teeth for a minimum of one hour before you go down on anyone. Toothbrushes can create micro-fractures in the gums. Oral is pretty safe, but nothing is absolutely safe when it comes to sex. About the only truly safe sex is your own hand, but I highly suggest going beyond that,” he said with a wry grin. “You’ll miss out on all the fun.”

  She spluttered a laugh. Other doctors she’d met in the past were stuffy and all business. Dr. Myles was easy going, had a good bedside manner, and a dry sense of humor. Perhaps that went with being the doctor at a kinky fair. “I’ll keep that in mind. So do I need to come back for my results?”

  “Only if there’s a problem. I’ll send the results to Kendrick and he’ll let you know. Hope you enjoy Elan Isle, Alexis.”

  She stepped out of his office and breathed in the clean air. Scents of pine and water filled her senses and she couldn’t help but smile. As scary as this new venture was, she had high hopes for it. Maybe this was a second chance for her, a way beyond the streets.

  Across from the doctor’s building, Ryan sat facing away from her, gazing toward the water in the distance. Her heart gave a little leap. He’d arrived at her cabin early that morning with breakfast and they went for a little walk before she had to meet with the doctor. She didn’t remember any guy ever treating her like he did. As if she was someone special. As if she was someone important.

  “Hey.” She walked toward him and he swung around and grinned at her.

  “All through?”

  “Yes, thankfully.”

  He chuckled. “Not interested in medical stuff, I take it?”

  Confused, she shook her head. “Never wanted to be a doctor.”

  Ryan startled and a tiny amount of pink entered his cheeks. “Damn. Sorry, Lex. I get so used to referencing BDSM terms that I forget that other people don’t know what I’m talking about. There’s a realm of BDSM play that includes medical instruments.”

  “Like what?”

  “Enemas. Gynecological exams. Catheterization. I think there’s other stuff too, but I haven’t looked into it.”

  She grimaced. “A gyney exam for fun? Eww.”

  “Everyone’s got different things they like. I might not understand why they like them, but I’m getting better at not thinking ‘You’ve got to be kidding me’ each time I hear about something.” He stood up and took her hand. “Hungry? The cafeteria should be open for lunch in an hour. We could go for a walk if you wanted.”

  She wanted, even with feeling a little chastised as though she’d said something wrong. Some things just couldn’t be for fun. Could they? “I can’t,” she said with a sigh. “Mr. Finleigh’s supposed to give me my duties today.”

  “Bummer. Mind if I walk with you?” Ryan turned in the direction of the office, still holding her hand, and she felt another little flutter. Except for the kinky stuff, he was a gentleman. She hadn’t thought they existed anymore.

  The walk to the office was too short, but when they arrived, instead of leaving her at the door, he went in. “Kendrick’s probably in his office,” he explained, pointing down the hall to the office he took her to the day before. “I’m going to talk with James a bit and then head out. Not sure what you’ll be doing, but if you’re free, want to go to dinner tonight? The cafeteria’s pretty good,” he added quickly.

  He seemed suddenly nervous and she wasn’t sure why. “I’d love to.”

  His nerves vanished and he smiled widely at her. “See you later, Lex.”

  She shouldn’t love the way he had given her a nickname, but she did. “Bye.” He squeezed her hand before releasing it and stepped over the gate into James’s office. The cute three-legged dog came up to him and she smiled as he crouched down and scratched it. Why couldn’t she be a better person? She wished she could be the Alexis that he deserved.

  Tearing her gaze from him, she walked down the hall and knocked softly on Kendrick’s door.

  “Come,” he said.

  She pushed the door open and stepped inside. He sat at his desk, a pair of wire-rimmed glasses perched on his nose. For a moment he didn’t look nearly as imposing as he had the night before. Then he removed the glasses. Those intense blue eyes watched her.

  “Good morning, Alexis. Get your medical appointment finished?”

  “Yes. Dr. Myles said he would send over the results when he received them.” For some strange reason, she felt like she should curtsy like servants did in the old days.

  “Good enough.” He stood up. “Today I figured I’d show you how the island is run and what you’ll be doing. On a normal week, you’ll get Monday and Tuesday off. This week, I’m going to have you work shorter days so you can work up to working forty hours a week. It can be a bit taxing at first.”

  The man was a dynamo. She had the feeling he kept his gait shorter so she could keep up with him. He had an incredible amount of energy.

  “During off season and on the days there isn’t a fair, the ferry comes twice daily. Eight a.m. and five p.m.,” he explained as he walked toward the docks. “On Faire days, it comes at nine thirty a.m., five p.m., and ten p.m.. This is the only dock non Elan Isle citizens know. However, we have one just for us.” He stepped between two large trees and led her through the woods. “You came through here last night, but I doubt you noticed it. This is where we keep the boats we use.” They stepped out of the trees onto a set of short docks with several boats moored along them. “Some belong to the township, others are owned by individuals. This does two things. First, we don’t have to worry about regulations of how far away our boats are from where the ferry must dock. Second, this is part of the child-safe zone on the island. So any of our stake holders with children under the age of eighteen can come this way and know it’s safe.”

  “You have a child-safe zone?”

  He looked over and nodded. “Yes. Some of our stakeholders have children. So all the cabins around the office and to the west are in the child-safe zone. Anything else is usable by adults only and you should be warned. This is an island run by kinky people. As such, you could spot many different scenes between people in the woods. As long as you don’t interrupt, you’re welcome to watch. Everyone knows if they scene outside, they’re possibly inviting an audience.”

  Heat flooded into her face. Sure, she’d given many a blowjob in alleys where people could see her, but watching the people scene at the Faire had been scary enough. The image came to mind of her and Ryan doing something out amongst the woods and being watched. A wave of heat flooded right between her legs. Oh. Okay, that was weird.

  Kendrick grinned. “Yes. It’s exciting. Becca and I scene outdoors often and there’s an extra zing when a voyeur’s energy is added to ours.”

 
; She had no idea what he meant by ‘extra zing’ and wasn’t going to ask.

  Amusement twinkled in those bright blue eyes and she had the feeling he knew what she was thinking. “I’m guessing you’re pretty new to kink?” he said as he led her back through the trees.

  “Yeah. I mean, I knew of some of it, but now I think that was a tiny smidgeon of what you guys do.”

  He laughed. “The only barriers to kink are one’s imagination and consent. It makes the lifestyle fun. Because we’re always learning and growing.”

  She followed him around the other side of the Faire. There wasn’t a wall on the east side and she spotted several of the buildings. “How big is the Faire?”

  “It was tiny last year. This year we’ve got twelve shops, eight eateries, and nine stages which are used to show play of a specific kind.”

  “Like what?” Alexis couldn’t help but be interested. She’d dreamed a lot about Ryan smacking her bottom since she met him four days ago. Plus she had admittedly skirted some of the stage areas. Just what did they do?

  “Well, we’ve got stages for impact play, bondage, religious kink, a specific one for exhibitionism—which draws the voyeurs,” he added with a grin over his shoulder. “There’s a stage for boot blacks and we have another stage that is cordoned off and protected by three dungeon monitors at a time.”

  “Why?”

  Kendrick stopped and stared out to sea for a moment before turning back to her. His eyes were kind. “Alexis, there are many kinks in this lifestyle. Nobody likes them all and some are more extreme than others. TakeDown is our stage for those who enjoy rape play. Intense rape play. As such, we have it in an enclosed building and make sure everyone knows what they’re getting into if they want to watch.”

  She grimaced. “People like to play at rape?” Well, perhaps she shouldn’t be surprised. Most of her johns liked it rough.

  He nodded. “It can get quite violent.”

  With a gulp, she shook her head. “I’ll steer clear of that one.”

  “The men and women who work that stage have that as one of their kinks. Like I said, we have three dungeon monitors there just in case. Remember that all kink on the island must be consensual, Alexis. That’s for those doing the kink and for those watching. It’s one of the reasons that stage is completely enclosed. It’s the only one that is.” After a pause he added, “I know what almost happened to you on Friday night and let me state categorically, that was against every code we have. It’s a good thing Alice was the one that was there. If it had been me, I would have had him deal with our Discipline Master.” A hard look came into his eyes. “Nobody harms a sub under my watch, Alexis. Nobody.”